i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
