Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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