Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
ok first of all what the fuck
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
