Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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