giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize