oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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