Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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