I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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