i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
