have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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