Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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