Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i now understand why vodka
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
