On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All I want is dick and wine.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
