I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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