I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
