hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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