O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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