WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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