Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
