Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
