That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
