I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
