She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
