So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
