Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
