i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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