i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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