walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
