I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize