The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
