We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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