My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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