I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I understand Curling. That high.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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