Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
