The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize