Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
