i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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