Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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