She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
