My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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