I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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