You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
