At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Small penises have feelings too.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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