Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
