you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
