I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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