So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
