friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
