I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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