apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
