What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
tell me about the eggs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
