if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
