my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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