that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
