We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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