the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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