Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize